“The only way to ensure phenomenal success is to focus on other people.”

— Kevin Harrington

This statement by Kevin Harrington may seem counter-intuitive, but it’s absolutely true. Leaders, managers and people in general who have seen the value of focusing on others, and did just that, have experienced tremendous success, despite how counter-intuitive it first seemed.

Much like the Chinese toy that traps your fingers when you slip your fingers into each end, the intuitive method of escape is to pull your fingers away from each another. In doing so, you’ve inadvertently tightened its grip and now your fingers are trapped. To have success with this toy, you must act in a counter-intuitive manner; you must bring your fingers together in order to remove the toy.

Joni Lynn Nelson, Chinese Finger Trap

What is my purpose for bringing this up? It’s certainly not to promote the clever Chinese toy, although it can be quite fun! I bring it up to help validate and solidify both for myself and others that sometimes we absolutely must do something that is contrary to the way it has always been done to have success. The same can be true of our internal belief system and our thoughts. Sometimes we must learn to see things differently; we must believe something different than we have before even if it feels counter intuitive.

For example, when it comes to the way we see our value in life, many of us are “trapped” in a deficit mindset; one that ensures we will not see our full potential. To see ourselves differently may feel counter-intuitive, but it will be worth every effort it takes! DeAnna Murphy explains this quite well in her book: Shift Up! Strengths Strategies for Optimal Living. Here’s an excerpt from Chapter 1 Shift Up! Through People AcuityTM.

 “Your View of Value”

“Let’s begin by exploring how you might think about your value, where it comes from, how you get it, and how you know you have it. If you are like most people, you are unknowingly trapped in a false view of what makes you or someone else valuable, including the idea that somehow your value fluctuates like the stock market. If you have not met certain unconscious prerequisites, for example, your feeling of value starts to diminish or disappear. This, in turn, will cause you to question your own worth. 

Let’s look at some of the things most people believe will “earn” value. Check and see if any of these sound like you. You may believe, for example, that your one-way ticket to being of value is to succeed enough, become popular enough, win enough, or make enough money to prove to others that you are worthy. Or you can think that if you work hard enough, do enough, be enough, and have enough, others will like and appreciate you and tell you that you are valuable. If these things happen, then surely you are worthy, right? You might be someone who needs to have the answers or the information or to know everything to prove your value. Or you may be someone who needs others to like you, trust you, encourage you, or follow you as an indication of your worth.

You can find many ways of defining your value from the outside-in and not letting it flow from the inside-out as it once did before your life-experience cataracts began to grow. And the truth is that none of these outside-in methods will fill your emptiness in a suitable way. Almost like an alcoholic needing just one more drink, you may hope for just one more of these things to assure you that you are still okay. That you matter. That you are worthy and valuable. Never mind that continuing to believe this will ultimately suck you right back to the Depletion ZoneTM once the “hit” of your outside-in method wears off.”

This is just one tiny example of the powerful transformational opportunities that are contained in this book. If you feel undervalued, either by yourself, your boss or coworkers, this book will help you to Shift Up! your thinking. It will inspire you to see your value in a counter-intuitive and transformational way!

I have personally experienced this transformation, and I’m proud to say that I’m a Certified People Acuity Coach and a facilitator of the Strengths Strategies for Optimal Performance program that is based on this book.

If you are open to transformation and seeing yourself and others in a more impactful way, I highly recommend you take action and read the book: Shift Up! Strengths Strategies for Optimal Living by DeAnna Murphy and co-authored by Lisa Gregory and Steve Jeffs.

Shift Up BookIn reading this for yourself, you will successfully see your value as well as the value of others. If you also want to learn more about People Acuity, please check out all the links and information below. Feel free to contact me directly as well.


For a 5% discount on all online orders from People Acuity, enter in the following code in the coupon section: jonilynnnelson2017


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Joni Lynn Nelson
FLY with Strengths
Lifting teams and individuals to reach their peak performance